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Living by the meter

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It's going....but going slowly. Keep fingers and toes crossed. Hopefully I'll have it up and running in a few days.

Moving to my own DOT COM

Living by the Meter is moving to its very own DOT COM

livingbythemeter.com

I have a wonderful guy at blogrescue.com helping me with this....need blog help? Web hosting? Go....see him....he ROCKS

So stay tuned....

I’m in Beta hell

Sometimes I wish I could just leave well enough alone…. but that would be someone else’s life not mine. In a moment of stupidity I switched my blog to the new (and not completely improved) Google Beta version. As you can see if you look at my sidebar, I am missing a few elements (like my Diabetes OC and Super Diabetics navigation bar) and this beta version is not yet set up for html editing which I would have known if I had had my snack and had read the entire description. Yes I’m blaming it on low BG and yes that IS the story I’m sticking with.

To comment on my blog until they fix this thing (or I get fed up and move my blog somewhere else) you will need to comment as anonymous….unless you are also in beta hell right along with me….in which case….what the hell were YOU thinking?

Cha, Cha, Cha, Changes

I had a great birthday weekend with just the right amount of fun and solitude. Friday after I dropped Sweetness off at pre-k I went to the hairdresser down the block and chopped off all my hair. And I mean ALL MY HAIR. I’ve had long hair forever…. down my back ending at my waist. It’s naturally curly although for years I didn’t think it was curly enough so I tortured it with a perm…. no I don’t know what I was thinking and yes I did end up looking like little orphan Annie. For the last 10 years or so I’ve just let it grow, getting it trimmed every once in a while and hacking at my bangs (yes I have bangs) when they got in my eyes. I’ve always had haircut anxiety so walking in the beauty shop was a major move on my part…. and then telling her to cut it ‘just above my shoulders’…well big bold move. I can’t say that I liked it right away…Stephanie (that’s who cut it) styled it and I knew I was in trouble when she got out the round brush and started making comments about Reba and Dallas. I walked away looking a bit puffy with not a curl in sight and when I walked in the front door of the house the look on Mr. Man’s face said it all. I marched right into the bathroom, stuck my head under the facet and scrunched until my head was full of curls. I like it….really really like it.

Friday night the daughter and I went to Carrabba’s Italian Grill, my favorite restaurant of all time and I confirmed that I can indeed go out to eat and still maintain tight control over my diabetes…GO ME. I had one and a half pieces of their yummy warm bread dipped in olive oil and spices, an Italian salad and Spiedino di Mare (shrimp and sea scallops coated with Italian breadcrumbs, grilled and topped with lemon butter sauce), garlic mashed potatoes, sautéed spinach, a glass of red wine and (I skipped the tiramisu) a bowl of vanilla ice cream with caramel and nuts that the daughter and I shared (the waitress and staff put a candle on it and sang happy birthday in Italian to me). I split my dinner in half and asked that it be boxed up so I could take it home (and I had that the next night for dinner…. oh so yummy the second time around). I tested before dinner and was at 82 and then tested again right before I went to Joyce’s to get in the hot tub about 80 minutes later and was at 135… within reason and I can handle that just fine, thank you very much.

Saturday I went shopping for ME stuff and bought myself a calligraphy set…. because…. well I have no idea why…. just wanted it…so there you go. A pair of shorts (size 14…woohoo) and new bra (like you really needed to know that) and some new makeup (I’m not a big makeup wearer so why I felt I really NEEDED to buy makeup is another mystery…. but what the heck). Mr. Man and I stayed home and because this is a ‘G’ rated blog (and because my mother reads this) I’ll refrain from any more detail on that. **Evil grin

Sunday I did girly things…painted my nails, messed with my new hairstyle, tried on all the old clothes in my closet that I saved because I was sure that I’d once again be thin enough to wear them…. I am and I’ll bet if I wait ten years or so they might actual come back in style. Threw away a bunch of out of date clothes, because I don’t feel like waiting ten years or so for them to come back in style. Went to dinner at John and Joyce’s and then came home and spent the rest of the evening reading, knitting and practicing calligraphy.

So I’ve decided to stay on the 850mg (x2) of Metformin instead of asking Dr. N to lower the dose…. last week I was riding in the 80’s and 90’s all the time and for some reason I thought it was time to drop my dose, but I think I just wasn’t eating enough to make my BG go up at all…. that might also be part of the reason I’ve hit another weight plateau…. my body thinks I’m starving it. This week I’m it the 90’s and 100’s…. go figure?

Oh and that whole not smoking thing…. sucks. I’ve broken down and had about 10 cigarettes since the 18th.

My Mom

I love my mother…she’s always been more of a friend then a parent and for us that works well. We have the same views on things, we have basically the same kind of sick sense of humor and I don’t think I’ve kept many secrets from her…. there simply wasn’t the need to; she isn’t judgmental.

She reads my blog and sends me emails about what I’ve written and I think that’s kinda cool, I like the fact that she gets a glimpse of this part of my life. She's also a diabetic and she’s had her disease under control for many many years so that gives me hope…..all in all she’s a wonderful woman. ::waves at mom::

So in the spirit of love I really need to say....

For the last three days she’s been sending me ecards counting down until my 46th birthday. I’m going to go with the flow on this….but…..MOM? If you do that when I turn 50 I’m going to smack you…..mmkay? I love you…**Smooch**

Ps….my mom is 22 years older then me….you do the math. **evil grin**

It’s my birthday tomorrow

I’m betting that my friends and family are going to be glad when it’s over since I’ve been reminding them daily for about a week now. No more sitting quietly and waiting for the day to come hoping that I get what I want… nope if you want something you gotta get it yourself. I’m not talking material things…. I’m talking about going out and spending time with the people I love…. spoiling myself or being spoiled by others. So this year I took the bull by the horns and let them all know what I wanted.

I’ve basically been celebrating for days. I’m starting my weekend tonight, not going to work Friday or Saturday. The daughter is taking me to my favorite restaurant tomorrow night because Mr. Man has a gig and I don’t feel like sitting around a hole in the wall beer joint from 7pm to 2am watching him play. I’ve spent too many birthdays and holidays that way and this year I just decided to say no thank you. He and I will go out Saturday night instead.

Tonight I head to Donna’s…. then tomorrow I’m getting my haircut (because it’s down to my waist and I’m sick of it being that long) then I’m going to go to Lisa’s and drop off Sweetness and light…. dinner with the daughter then back to Joyce’s and in the hot tub with a glass of wine.

I haven’t gone out to eat since my diagnoses and I’m a little hesitant. This restaurant has the best bread in the world that they serve warm with olive oil and herbs for dipping. I could eat nothing but the bread and be a happy camper…. ah but if not for the dreaded “D” word. They also make garlic mashed potatoes to die for…. and tiramisu…. oh yummy…. and a chocolate martini. All things I really shouldn’t have…but I’m going to have a little bitty bit of. Because it’s my birthday damn it. And yes I do plan on testing…and yes I’m planning on splitting my meal in 2 and taking half home (and no I will not eat it in the middle of the night…but I’m not promising that I won’t open the frig and look at it longingly)

If it sounds like I have all this planned to a tee…. it’s only because I do. I’m determined to have a wonderful weekend…. and I’m determined to make it all about me…. for once.

Oh and in the middle of having a ‘Me-fest’…tomorrow is my quit smoking date. We’ll see how that goes.

In the big scheme of things…

diabetes is no big deal. It could be so much worse. I could have lymphoma like Anthea who lost her very short battle with it on Friday.

Anthea had a shop in Austin for years…. she made the best incense and candles and oils. She made jewelry and baths salts and was a very gifted reader. And she was my friend. And we were in the middle of opening a shop together… and then she got sick. A month ago I bullied her into seeing a doctor. We were certain it was her gallbladder, just like what I had gone through a few years earlier. Piece of cake, get it taken care of and be done with it. Only that’s not what it was at all….

So she went into the hospital and it was decided that chemo and radiation was the way to go and she cut off all her hair in anticipation and resolved herself that at best this was going to be a long hard road and we all prepared ourselves. But it wasn’t a long road, even though it was a hard one and two weeks into the treatment the doctors told her they wish she would have come in 5 years earlier and how very sorry they were but there wasn’t any more they could do….

And we moved her to hospice…. and we took turns being with her…. and she made her wishes known…. and we talked and talked about all our wayward plans….and we cried and we laughed and we hugged…..and she died.

We’re cleaning up the pieces of the life she left behind….all her unfinished business ….and we’re packing up her belonging with the lists we made with her at the hospice, gifting the people she loved with the things she wanted them to have and we’re trying to move one foot in front of the other.

Cancer sucks and in the big scheme of things diabetes is ‘doable’.