I fell off the wagon

In a big bold way this morning. I woke up at the ungodly time of 4:30, laid in bed watching CNN until 6, when I tested my blood (106) and fell right back to sleep. I woke up for the second time at 8am, went to make coffee and realized that we had no coffee. Damn….threw on some clothes and headed to the corner store where I paid too much for the smallest amount of coffee they had. Got home….made coffee and instead of having breakfast I went back to bed. By the time I got back up (a half hour later) I was rushed because I had to get my butt to work. Coffee with nondairy creamer and two teaspoons of Splenda later and I still hadn’t had anything to eat.

That was when I spied the raisin bran cereal…..truly I had intended to only have a half cup (it’s 45 carbs for a full cup) and even at that I knew I would be sorry two hours later when I tested and saw what my peak number was. But I found myself eating a cup of it with 2 percent milk because that was all I had in the house.

Raisin Bran….what the heck was I thinking? I really do know better then that. I keep raisins in my glove compartment to treat lows and here I was eating a handful of them for breakfast. One hour later, my BG was 204…..because….well….I’m an idiot, don’tcha know.

So for the rest of the day I get to play…”what’s the meter say?” A fun little game where I become obsessive about testing my blood and seeing what the magic number is….ah…like I’m not obsessive enough on a good day.

And later: (2:50pm)

Skipped my snack time (because of the ugly 204) and by the time I started feeling crappy I was down to 65….so I ate one of those itty bitty microware cans of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni but that only got me up to 74 and an hour later I was heading back down 70….so I was forced to eat 4 mini junior mints (HA)…84. I just had a tortilla with chicken.

This always happens…. I get an ugly high in the morning because of my own stupidity…. I over compensate by not eating my snack or lunch…. I bottom out and feel like a truck ran me over.
I really need to get a handle on breakfast so the rest of my day isn’t spent obsessing and testing and feeling like crap.